What may seem like a good decision on one day may seem like a bad decision on another day. The only constant is the necessity to flow in adaptation; change.
There are no such things as shortcuts. You have to go through the time to achieve the result. It takes determination, perseverance, effort. And love, above all love, so you will not give up before the end.
“When I am afraid, I will trust God.”
A lady at our church gave me this verse and I have been holding onto it very tightly lately. Sometimes, it is all I need to do to just meditate and breathe on this one and I feel better. This past year, I have been realizing that the times in my life when I got into trouble were when I was afraid and did not trust God to carry me through the situation. So I stayed in places I shouldn’t because of fear. Fear is a strong thing. It paralyzes. It terrifies. It makes us give up our power. We do not have to listen to it. Instead, I listen to these eight words: “When I am afraid, I will trust God.” God is stronger. I am not alone, I am not afraid, when I trust God. I can make the good choice, not the choice made in fear.
I was prepared for how much I would love you. But I was not prepared for understanding that it was the most important thing to keep you safe, to set a good example, to inspire you–through my being able–to live your best life. Thank you for changing mine. Thank you for making my life fuller, so much more amazing than I ever thought possible. I am so thankful to be your mom.
1. Choose friends and relationships wisely.
2. Don’t listen to the words of others that tear you down. There will always be toxic people, people who are there to make fun of you, belittle you, your life, your dreams.
3. Let toxic people go.
4. Surround yourself with a support system of people who respect, love and encourage you.
When you pushed through them and out
the center of my body
slid up to rest your tiny hands on my chest
look up at me
latch your lips to my breast
how you would have smiled then if you could
I loved you so much I did not
know how to hold it
so I focused instead on
your blue purple wrinkled skin
the soft warm realness of your tiny body and
tried to hold that instead tried
to hold back your tiny sharp-nailed hands
from hurting your new skin unknowing
And I was terrified
of how I was going to keep you safe
for the rest of your life to become a strong
Black man in a country where you are still
seen as the shameful byproduct of an
unsocial experiment gone wrong to
be exterminated by rape murder
theft pograms poisoned drugs
poisoned food and chemtrailed air
legal acts crooked courts rigged
elections white folks urban vacation
safari black boy hunting
brought to you by the
State of Florida stand your ground
good old stop n’ frisking.
And I wonder why
no one ever warned me how fear rises
in matched level with the
depth of your love deepening
if I will know the near unbearable joy of you
the feeling of your tiny arms
pressed around my neck to hug
to kiss as you say love mommy
I must know too the
empty confusion when
apart from you
my arms and mind fretted anxious
body physically sick
the sleepless night all
night every night in the tiptoeing to
your bed to see that you are still breathing
wanting to protect
you keep you safe from what you do not know
and will hurt you even in your sleep
even while I know that
even if I were able to do this
every second of every day of all your life
it still would not be enough.
“He who stands for nothing will fall for anything.” —Folk Proverb